I know, I know …. Shouldn’t it be the power of ‘NO’? Don’t worry, we’ll get to the ‘No’, but for now, let’s focus on the power of you saying ‘YES’ to your child! Yes….I said it…saying YES!
Believe it or not, saying ‘yes’ can help to create a buffer for the times you have to say ‘NO!’ since they are more likely to accept it if they know their needs and desires are generally being met.
Saying ‘yes’ more often can build and enhance trust and positive relationships and encourage creativity and exploration in children! The benefits of saying ‘yes’ far outweigh the mythical disadvantages and the generational trend of saying ‘no’.
Let’s dive in!
‘Yes’ can help a child learn from success and setbacks.
There is such a thing as having a ‘yes’ mindset, and this allows parents to support their children through success, as well as challenges, teaching them valuable life lessons.
Having this mindset also helps children to learn from their mistakes without fear of judgement, which inevitably builds resilience and a growth mindset.
‘Yes’ can help to develop better communication.
Saying “yes” can encourage open communication between parents and children.
Children feel more comfortable sharing their ideas and concerns when they know their voices are heard and valued. They are not made to feel shut down by you as their parent.
Also read: Is Strict Parenting style beneficial to your child?
‘Yes’ can help to create autonomy and confidence.
Saying “yes” can empower children to make their own choices and feel a sense of control over their lives. This can boost their self-esteem and confidence, helping them develop into more independent and responsible individuals.
‘Yes’ can help build independence, creativity and problem-solving.
A “yes” approach opens doors to new experiences and activities, allowing children to explore their interests and develop their unique talents. It can also spark their imagination and creativity, encouraging them to think outside the box and come up with their own solutions.
“Yes” can help to teach responsibility and decision-making.
By saying “yes” to some requests, parents can teach children how to make responsible choices and manage their time effectively. This also helps them learn how to weigh the pros and cons of different options and make informed decisions that align with their values.
So we know that saying “yes” to a child at the right moments has numerous benefits, but when exactly are these ‘right’ moments? Here are some of the best instances for a parent to say “yes” instead of “no”:
- When attempting to encourage curiosity and learning, for example, when a child asks questions or wants to explore something new (e.g., “Can I help you cook?” or “Can I try using the microscope?”).
- When you want to support creativity and play, such as engaging in imaginative play, art, or building projects—even if it’s a little messy or unstructured.
- When you want to acknowledge emotions, express their feelings or seek comfort (e.g., “Can I talk to you about something?” or “Can I have a hug?”).
- When you want to promote independence and they want to try doing something on their own that is age-appropriate (e.g., “Can I choose my outfit today?” or “Can I pay at the store?”).
- When you want to build trust and work together, for example, when they offer to help with chores or family activities (and we know how painstakingly slow this can become!)
- When you want to give choices within boundaries and it’s a request that fits your values or rules but might usually get a reflexive “no” (e.g., “Can we eat outside tonight?” or “Can I stay up 10 more minutes if I finish my homework?”).
As always, everything in parenting is about balance. Using yes wisely develops greater autonomy, responsibility, generosity and competence in your kids. Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every demand—it means being mindful about which battles are worth fighting and when a “yes” can build a stronger relationship. It’s easy to use that power to say no. It’s harder, but more effective, to seek a balance between no and yes.
Remember… you are doing amazing!
x
