As parents, we wear so many hats.
We are chauffeurs, cooks, counsellors, cheerleaders, homework supervisors, event planners, and somehow we’re also expected to build careers, maintain relationships and keep the house functioning.
Somewhere in the middle of all of that, one person quietly slips to the bottom of the priority list.
Us.
On a recent episode of the Keeping It Real with Oyin podcast, I sat down with wellness coach and personal trainer Gael Simpson to talk about fitness, well-being, motherhood and why so many women struggle to make themselves a priority.
What struck me most wasn’t the fitness advice.
It was her story.
How We Lose Ourselves Without Realising It
Gael spent over 20 years in education. She was a teacher, a headteacher, and a leader responsible for supporting schools and staff.
At work, she gave everything.
At home, she gave everything.
To everyone looking in, she was managing.
But beneath the surface, she had lost herself.
Many parents know exactly what that feels like.
You wake up, get everyone organised, go to work, come home, deal with dinner, activities, laundry, homework and bedtime. Then you collapse on the sofa exhausted, only to do it all again tomorrow.
You’re functioning.
But are you really living?
The Lie We Tell Ourselves
The biggest excuse Gael hears from women?
“I don’t have time.”
And honestly, most of us have said it.
I know I have.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
We make time for the things we decide are important, we schedule meetings, we attend appointments and we turn up for our children.
Yet when it comes to our own well-being, we often leave it to chance.
We tell ourselves we’ll exercise when life gets less busy.
The problem is life rarely gets less busy.
Fitness Isn’t About Looking Good
One of the biggest misconceptions about fitness is that it’s all about weight loss or appearance.
It’s not. Fitness is about capacity.
It’s about having the energy to deal with life’s demands without constantly feeling drained.
It’s about protecting your mental health.
It’s about improving your mood, reducing stress and helping you show up as the best version of yourself.
As Gael beautifully described it, exercise releases what she calls your “happy dolphins” (endorphins).
And those happy dolphins can make a huge difference to how you feel, think and parent.
What Happens When We Start Prioritising Ourselves?
When Gael began taking fitness seriously, something interesting happened.
Her schedule didn’t become easier.
Her responsibilities didn’t disappear.
She simply made herself part of the schedule.
Instead of hoping she’d have time, she planned for it.
The result?
More energy, more patience, more enthusiasm and more quality time with her children.
Rather than collapsing from exhaustion, she found herself creating memories with her kids, running races, rollerblading along the beach and enjoying life alongside them.
The investment she made in herself benefited her entire family.
The Wake-Up Call Many Parents Need
During our conversation, I shared a recent experience that forced me to reflect.
I’ve been physically active for decades. Exercise has always been a huge part of my life.
So imagine my surprise when a routine health check revealed fat around my liver.
On the outside, I looked healthy.
On the inside, my body was telling a different story.
It reminded me of something important:
Looking okay isn’t the same as being healthy.
Many parents are surviving on stress, caffeine, convenience foods and very little rest.
We convince ourselves we’re coping because we’re still functioning.
But our bodies keep the score.
Eventually, they demand our attention.
Your Children Are Watching
One thing Gael highlighted was the importance of modelling healthy habits.
Our children don’t just listen to what we say.
They watch what we do.
When they see us constantly neglecting ourselves, they learn that self-care isn’t important.
When they see us exercising, resting, eating well and prioritising our well-being, they learn that looking after themselves matters too.
The habits we model today often become the habits they carry into adulthood.
The Question That Changed Everything
As we came to the end of the podcast, Gael shared a coaching question that stopped me in my tracks.
Instead of telling overwhelmed parents what they should do, she asks:
“What will change in your life if you make more space for yourself?”
And then:
“What won’t change if you don’t?”
Those two questions are worth sitting with.
Because change doesn’t happen when someone tells us what to do.
Change happens when we decide the cost of staying the same is too high.
Your Next Step
You don’t need to train for a marathon.
You don’t need to spend hours in the gym.
You don’t need a perfect routine.
Start with a walk.
Take your lunch break.
Stretch for ten minutes.
Dance in the kitchen.
Do something.
Because the goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is to build a life where you matter too.
The reality is simple:
When you invest in yourself, everybody around you benefits.
Your energy improves.
Your health improves.
Your relationships improve.
And most importantly, you get to enjoy the life you’re working so hard to build.
So I’ll leave you with Gael’s question:
What will change if you make space for yourself?
And perhaps more importantly…
What will happen if you don’t?
