There are conversations that have been deemed difficult to have with their children by parents and the top tough topics are: death, illness, natural disasters and, yes, you guessed it- S.E.X!
Having open communication surrounding any and every topic can help children learn that they can always talk to you. The greatest foundation for communication is formed in the formative years and will definitely help with the dreaded teenage years. Most importantly, they know that they will be listened to if anything is worrying them.
Tough conversations around life topics such as sex will not only make you more approachable but will also strengthen your child’s ability to think, solve problems, and build resilience. Even more importantly, these conversations are a great gateway to explaining core family values and family beliefs.
“But Oyin, how do we start talking about the one thing we dread?’
Yes, I hear you…let’s dive into it.
Talking about sex with your child at any age is, somewhat, a little bit …awkward.
“Even more importantly, these conversation are a great gateway to explaining core family values and family beliefs.”
- So you FIRST have to tolerate the awkwardness. Swallow every cringe and push away the thought of running away!
- Talk in the third person—try not to talk directly to them or about them. You can refer to something you have watched or seen in a book.
- Teach them how to stand their ground; let them know they do not have to do things they do not want to.
- Get on social media—you might need to be in with the present trends so that they do not feel that they can’t talk to you about it because you won’t understand since you don’t know about Instagram or other social media platforms.
- Don’t Judge—It’s easy to respond emotionally to things you hear your children say, but do not say/do anything that could close down the conversation.
- Start early—It has been advised by the NHS that it is never too early to start talking about sex, but just in an age-appropriate way.
- Be OPEN—always be available! Let them know you are always there for them.
If you are struggling to have a tough conversation, especially about SEX with your children, get in touch and book a discovery call. I will be happy to talk you through the strategy that best suits your home and the personality of your child.
